The Conflicted Messages

I haven't posted twice in a day for awhile but after reading a new blog friend's post about our religion I wanted to write my thoughts on one specific topic down as quickly as possible.

Ok... so I wasn't exactly the girl you'd expect would take the "LDS Marriage and Family" class but I was looking for an easy 'A' and thought 'what the heck?.' Yea, I was asking for it.

One of the lesson's was on "A Woman's Role." If you know me you'd be able to picture the expression on my face when I first heard this was the topic. If you don't know me just picture a me with an attitude saying somethin like "... Are you seriously about to start tellin' me about MY role?... I know you playin'... Stop playin'"

Normally I'm pretty much submissive and quiet in class until until someone says something stupid... Which is what occurred in this case.

So I was doing other homework during this class period and occasionally hearing things that I roll my eyes at, or chuckle about under my breath. But nothing really made me interested enough to make an argumentative comment. After all, the professor was reporting things church leaders have told us and I'm not about to argue with that. So we were closing the class period talking about women working... We all know everyone has different circumstances where a woman may have to, or choose to work. The professor said a woman shouldn't work just so they could have nicer things like cars, houses, etc... Ok, so I'm cool with him saying that, I mean... whateva... But tell me this one girl did not have the nerve to raise her hand and ask:

"So what should we tell a woman if she says she wants to work, because that's not what she should be doing. I mean, what's the best way to tell her she shouldn't be going that?"

I almost jumped up out my chair. But the Good Lord was holding me back. Good thing too cause I may have gotten kicked out of BYU! I mean... Who is she to tell someone what they should or shouldn't be doing? I'm not gonna lie, I was offended (and this was before the "don't be offended" talk s odon't give me crap for that either).

It made me even more upset when the professor and another girl responded after. I thought they were gonna have my back but no (course not)… They were saying something to the effect of "you should tell her to pray about it."

I'm sorry but unless you don't need to tell anyone what they should be praying about. ESPECIALLY when they didn't ask for your effin opinion. Man I tell ya, good thing the bell rang cause I was about to say somethin'. Oh but don't worry, you'd better believe that's the first thing I brought up Monday morning before we even start the next class discussion.

Basically I just told them some people need to learn to mind their own dang business. I was really doing that girl a favor. I didn't want that poor soul to go around thinkin' she can tell people what they should and shouldn't be doing and to pray about "their sins."

All I can say is she's lucky she's lucky she lives in Utah, cause if you try sayin' somethin' like that where I come from you may get hit... Mormon or not we don't play that down south!

Why act "holier than thou?" I'm sorry but you are not my guardian angel, you are not my prophet and you sure as hell aint my momma... And if you were still I wouldn't let you tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing. I am a grown 'A' woman.

That being said... Why is is that that is so prominent in LDS culture? Why do we feel the need to tell people how THEY should live their lives? I mean, it's one thing to offer a suggestion when asked (which since this blog, I personally ask for a lot) but it's a totally different thing to feel the need to tell someone what they're doing is wrong when they never asked your opinion!

Another conflict... in LDS culture many times we're told "Multiply and replenish the Earth" No questions asked, just "we're commanded to do it so do it!" Well, we're also (in instances like this story) told that women should be at home with the children.

I'd LOVE to be home with my kids, especially when their young. But I have no idea how that could be feasible in the situation I'm in right now. I'm the only one currently working full-time. I'm putting my husband through school and progressing in my career. I wouldn't say I'm "putting my career before children" but I am, in my opinion, being "smart" about it. Instead of quitting my job and only having breast milk to feed my kids while having an empty stomach myself so that I can be at home I'm waiting until we are financially able for me (or my husband) to be at home with our kids (although in the lesson previously stated we were told a woman is better at home than the man).

But then on the other hand we could have kids right now, and I could keep working, but then no one would be at home.

I have a feeling I'll be the woman who LIKES to work and would still need at least a part-time job to feel whole and complete, but I'll really cross that bridge when I get there.

The point of this post is the question "Which one do you choose?" For those who believe you should have kids right away... Is it better to just do it even if you have to put your kids in daycare? Or wait until you're in a situation that permits a parent to be at home?