The SAHM Pt. 2

Ok I'm changing the beginning of this post because of the last sudden ANONYMOUS comment I got on my last post. I don't like to respond in the comments section because I'm not sure everyone would be able to see it so I'll respond at the top of this post. The following was the anonymous comment (they left another one after but I'm just posting the first one):

"Honestly. I want to give you credit for having the nerve to even post something so ludicrous.
You don't BUY it? Give me a break.
A whole blog to decide if you want a baby or not? You know you aren't going to do it right now. So, just stop talking about it every day before you do decide to do it. Come talk to us when your pregnant and then when you're a working or WAHM or SAHM.
Until then, your opinion of being a SAHM doesn't matter."

Ok first off... Ouch. Really? You're going to come and tell me my opinion doesn't matter on my OWN blog? And who is "us?" Well thanks... But apparently not many others agree with you. I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to plan before hand and actually asking mothers experiencing things I may one day experience how they handle it. I'm completely honest here and I'm sorry if that offends you but in my post I point blank said I welcomed disagreements because "I'M OPEN TO BEING WRONG" so sheesh... don't get offended lady! Obviously you have a little insecurity or something because I'm not saying I know everything, I'm just stating my opinion. Take a chill pill! I also didn't just say I didn't "buy it" I asked what was so hard about it... And if you noticed, several women actually answered the question on "what is the hardest part about it" rather than just bashing me. Plus, you said you agreed with Jacyee... Well guess what? She has 6 KIDS! Four of them are quadruplets... I'm not saying that's not a dang hard job! And I can understand her for being a little ticked about my post ;o)

Oh... and several people in the comments section said they love being stay at home moms and it's not as stressful as some people make it out to be... I really think it comes down to the person... And YES... maybe one day when I have kids my mind will change completely and I'll do a 180 and think "wow... this is a lot harder than I thought, put be back to work" but that's the fun of this blog... it's a "journey" my journal of expression, and if you've read any other posts you'd realize that I change my mind often :o)

Ok... sorry do go off on a tangent people, I just wanted to get that out of the way. Has anyone else dealt with meanies? I see why people moderate their comments now. I never thought I'd want to erase a comment but yeesh! Anyway... Back to the show:

You all have been great in my quest to determine why being a SAHM is so difficult, by leaving responses here. I've baby sat for a woman a few times who is a stay at home mother. She always seems slightly stressed or uptight when I go over to her house. Seeing the way she interacted with her children was always endearing and interesting to me, but seeing what she puts herself through just made me think "I couldn't do it." At least not like that.

I think some of the same women who said things like "if my husband would watch the kids instead of watching TV yea, maybe he could be a stay at home dad" are some of the ones who also maybe, possibly, put too much pressure on themselves at home (but who am I to assume?).

I have however witnessed so many women (especially while I lived in Utah) who felt like their house had to be put together neatly at all times. The kids had to be cleaned up after almost immediately, the rules and regulations in the home were strict, and so were the schedules. It made me want to just grab them by the shoulders and say "it's going to be O.K. calm down!" I imagine if I'm going to do it my husband will have to clean up the mess we all make when he gets home from work... (Hey, whatever keeps me from taking Xanex, ok?) But really, I'm not a neat person anyway, so maybe that's why I feel that way. I can't imagine being my messy self then having a messy bunch of spawn on top of that!

By all means, if cleaning and cooking is what makes you happy go for it, but if being at home with MY children turns out to be extremely stressful, perhaps some rearranging should be done.

My grandmother is in her 50s and she looks AMAZING! I asked her how she hardly has wrinkles and she told me: "I don't stress." And she gave me some advice I don't think I'll ever forget... "If you have a problem you don't like, fix it, and if you can't fix it, get over it. Because stressing is only going to give you wrinkles."

There really are so many women out in the world who would LOVE to be at home with their children but can't afford to. Regardless if it's the world's hardest job or not... If it's a job you got to choose then it's a privilege. It may not pay monetarily but if the rumors are true, you're rewarded in much better ways.

If I ever have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom I hope I can remember this lighthearted advice I'm giving right now... And can really embrace it and make the most of it. I imagine it would be easy to get bored (with one) and go crazy (with several) but I hope that I can keep the cheerful spirit I have now and enjoy that time with my kids (and not eat my words).

I hopefully will at least get three months at home with the first and get a taste of SAHM life... Then I'LL be the one to judge if it's REALLY all that hard ;o) especially compared to a job like I have now, or worse... A job like I have now PLUS being a mom 24/7.

But regardless, I'm sure it's all not peaches and creme, I know it's 24/7, and really... I'm not trying to downplay it. Just trying to get a feel for what it's really like for you, in all honesty.