How far apart to space the kiddos?

Ok, so remember how a a month ago I said I was just gonna go with the flow and not worry about future stuff? Well, I'm going to take a break from that for a moment and freak out about a dilemma. Come with me?

"Happiness" shirt from See Baby Grow; Jean Shorts from Old Navy via eBay; Pink Shoes: Thrifted

You know those cute little shirts that say "big sister" or "little brother"? Adorable right? I passed a rack of them at the store the other day but had to tell myself to just keep walking. Lil' J ain't going to be a big sister anytime (relatively) soon so I shouldn't even get that thought process going. It's dangerous grounds.

For now, when she occasionally does wear a t-shirt, the words on it have nothing to do with having more siblings. They're simple. Peace. Love. Happiness. No hidden messages on these. Well, the back does say "see baby grow" but that has nothing to do with a baby in utero and everything to do with my first child growing.

I'm not sure you can understand the love you'll have for a child until you have a child. I mean, I knew I loved my daughter long before she was born. That love grew as she grew in my belly but when I first saw her--Gosh, I loved her more than I knew was possible. I felt like my heart could burst. All I wanted to do was stare at her, hold her. I couldn't comprehend this love until I experienced it for myself. I think the same thing goes for having a second child.

Pink Bandanna via Walmart

Now I know how it feels to love a child SO MUCH, but I can't imagine splitting that love with another. I've heard people say the love it multiplied, not divided--Or maybe I'm just thinking of Sister Wives--Either way, won't my TIME be divided? My daughter clings to me like white on rice. And seeing as I slept through half of my pregnancy last time, it will be impossible to do that next time around.

When I had Lil' J I mentally prepared to have another as soon as possible. Of course, my husband had other plans. As time has gone on I've really enjoyed this one-on-one time with the daughter I've always dreamed of and it's so hard to imagine adding another to the mix.

I thought I wanted them to be super close in age so they could be super tight but that's not always the case with siblings. I've asked the spacing question numerous times, and I always get a slew of responses which lead me to realize one thing--Everyone seems to be happy with what they have.

Love shirt via See Baby Grow

It took me a while to realize this because I didn't want to see it. Instead I noted there are rare cases where the mom wishes she didn't have a 7-year gap, and ignored instances where the mom wished she had more alone time with her baby before having another. I was seeing what I wanted to see. But in reality, overall, most people seem to like the way they have it.

I can't imagine not being able to give my daughter all of my attention but at the same time I crave the feeling of holding a newborn. I want to start over with my daughter is what I want. Can't I go back? Relive those moments? I know now more than ever to cherish those moments because oh man, they go fast. Even when she throws one of her hilarious little temper tantrums. Instead of getting upset, I can't help but laugh at how silly she looks flopping and whining because she's not getting what she wants. How in the world do they learn these things?!

Anyway, why did I whine when she was so tiny? She's fun now, but I can't go back.

What gives me something more to think about is the fact that next time may be the last time I have a baby. My last pregnancy, last time to experience all those firsts. I'm afraid to miss #2's firsts because I'm watching Lil' J's firsts or vice versa. I'm not sure when kids become more independent... 2? 5? 18? Never? I guess it depends on the kid.

I guess there's no perfect answer, or it's different for everyone, but for now, I'm thinking two and a half years would be a nice not-too-close not-too-far gap for me. Hopefully that'll mean needing no new diapers, as Lil' J will hopefully be growing out as #2 gets in them. She'll hopefully be talking more and able to communicate some of her thoughts, but they'll only be two grades apart in school. If we have a boy next, I don't think they'll really be best friends anyway, and the whole age gap dilemma won't even matter. If we have a girl, I assume they will be BFFs, but because I think that, they'll probably not get along at all.

The good thing is I'm not freaking out like last time where I was like "HOLY HECK WHEN AM I GONNA HAVE A KID? I CAN'T DECIDE!!" This time it's like "Eh. I already have a one, I guess I'll have another when I have another." Especially because people tell me it's 152,000Xs harder. So I ain't rushing that. My husband says if I want, we can just stop with Lil' J, but Eff that!

Another, selfish thing on my mind is thinking that my independence will be like 100% gone once another is born. Between work, a husband, taking a billion pictures, and enjoying writing about it all here during my free time, I can't imagine accomplishing everything with another in the mix.

I'm finally beginning to feel like I have a handle on it all, and I'm thinking about taking a cooking class, or a creative writing class. Maybe even a photography class. But with time being split between two children I feel like time to myself will just be wrong. I mean, I know it's not, but in order to give enough time to each child I'll have to give up some more "me time" I imagine. And while kids change your life and are the BEST thing in the world, I'm not sure I'm quite ready for all of this times two.

Hopefully that will change eventually. But for now, we're keeping those "big sister" shirts out of her closet and making more room for dresses!

Decisions decisions. ... But no rush! Just thinking about it all for a moment.

How far apart did you space your kiddos? Curious.

Mini Mod #1: Introduce me to your tiny trendsetter

If you haven't noticed, I'm a tiny bit obsessed with children's clothing. Rarely does a day goes by where I don't browse for something cute for Lil' J, whether a pair of shoes, a new accessory, or a dress. I rarely get something from the department store, most things are from boutiques, or second hand things from seasons ago, so it's not often we see others wearing what she's sporting.

I love sharing that with you too. Out of habit I take photos of her and what she's wearing daily. I don't consider myself a style blogger but I think I can see children's style in my future. I couldn't ever keep up with posting what I'm wearing on a daily basis, but I could post what Lil' J was wearing if I want. Heck, I'm almost there already. Also, I know some of you have found new favorite shops and finds from me, and I've found some from you, this new link up idea can be a way to keep that going.

As if I haven't had enough failed attempts to incorporate a blog meme, I thought I'd give it another try.

How about every week we show off our kiddos' fashion? That's simple enough right? I'm not sure if I'll keep doing Fridays. While Mini Mod Monday sounds cool, Mondays are suppose to be What I'm Makin' Monday... Lord knows I'm not making much these days now though... Aside from PB and Js for lunch and an occasional tutu. I guess Tuesday is an option too. What day do you like? Do you care?

No need to write a novel or anything, just upload some pictures, let us know where you got the outfit (if you remember) and link up here so we can blog hop. Visit the link before or after yours and comment on it. I'll comment on any Mini Mod posts that are linked up. And with all that said, here's my first post! I hope you'll join in! I'll feature one of the blogs that links up in next week's post!

I take pictures of Lil' J daily. Sometimes we just go out and play in the grass, and other times we take toys outside and play as the sun is setting. Our neighbor's cat Queso usually trots over because he knows we'll pet him and give him lots of love. I'm trying to teach Lil' J to be gentle with him. She's used to smacking and riding Snoop like a horse.

I sat back and watched her play before snapping a few shots. She's so fearless, getting up in his face, and trying to give him kisses.

Queso eventually got sick of us and we plopped down and played with her piggy bank. I showed her how to stick the coins it and she sings. In a matter of minutes she had it down pat and was just over the moon excited about her new talent.

Daddy was inside studying so I took some pictures of the action so he could see how it all went down.

She's wearing a dress and headband from one of my favorite Etsy shops: Sumo's Sweet Stuff. I got the tiered dress and headband for $15. This was one of the first of many dresses like I ordered from this shop. It's getting small, and it's long sleeved so I rolled up the sleeves to make it more weather-appropriate. The length still works as a dress, and soon, once she's too tall I can put leggings on her and she can wear it as a shirt.

She LOVES wearing shoes. I thought for sure she'd hate them since I barely put them on her for the last year. When she was first born I had socks or soft shoes on her daily. But it got hard to find the perfect socks to match ever single outfit, so I ditched them. We're finally getting back in the habit now that she has to wear them for school, and she LOVES them! She's either laughing and trying to pull them off, or bringing them to me, begging me to put them on. The ones she's wearing here are Robeez. I bought these before she was born at a consignment sale. I love these shoes. They are the easiest to get on and of and nice and soft on her feet. I'm in the process of getting more like these, but with some boutique-style. Hopefully I'll have them for another upcoming Mini Mod post!

Ever since she's been wearing them she's ventured with walking more. Maybe her feet feel tougher to her now or something, but she prefers to stand up and try to walk than crawl now. It could be a coincidence though. I'm not sure, but I thought shoes were suppose to have the opposite effect. Either way, I think I can officially call her a WALKER now! Yay Lil' J! This should make picture-taking interesting from now on. But I'm excited for the challenge.

Feel free to link up and show off your stylin' Mod Mini and let others know they can join in. Come on, what better excuse to show off your cutie and your style on them?





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PS: A commenter just informed me there is something similar in the bloggyland (who woulda thought I wasn't the first? ;) ) Called Small Style. I'm linking up there too and you should too to get more bank for your blog!

365 Love Letters Week 32

My internet went out (non-storm related) and it delayed me posting these. I hope all of my readers around the country and your families are doing ok after the storm. My prayers are going out to all of you and yours.

It's insane how it's flooding some places yet here we're in a terrible drought with record-breaking heat of 112 degrees! As you'll see in these photos, we did our best to stay cool in all this heat. Lil' J loves playing outside but I've gotta keep water nearby and keep our play time short.

I hope some of you had fun with the love letters. Link up below so I can see!

Tutus and bows: Doodledee Boutique

Knot Dress: Lollibug Boutique; Bow: Little Star Sweeper

She's never really shown interest in TV much before but all of a sudden she loves this one single episode of Yo Gaba Gaba. My husband and I have the show and the songs memorized.

Dress: Dapple Gray Designs; Bow: White Suggar Creations; Shoes: Robeez

Old Navy bathing suit gifted

Love shirt: See Baby Grow; Jean shorts: Old Navy

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What to do on a hot day? He says/ She says

Old Navy Swimsuit: Gifted from Tara

She says: Let's get out and have fun. We can cool off in the pool.

He says: No, let's stay in and watch a movie.

She says: Ok, then can we cuddle while we watch the movie?

He says: It's too hot.

It's never too hot to cuddle. What say you on a hot day?

Mini Mod #2: Sippy Cup Love {and My Baby Clothes Boutique Giveaway}

Welcome to my second edition of Mini Mod! I was thrilled to see so many of your little fashionistas and fashionistos last week! I hope you'll share your links again.

You've gotta check out this Pre-K fashion post by Only Pink in a House of Blue. She linked up last week and her little boy is SO adorable!! He really should be a little model. Stop by and shw them some love.

I loved looking at all of your links, so share again ok? And share some comment love with the other linkers. It's a great way to find new blogs.

Bonnie Jean Aqua Swirl Dress c/o My Baby Clothes Boutique

Lil' J goes through sippy cups like no other child I know. We always lose them and I can never seem to relocate them. Since she's so thrilled to be drinking out of a straw I got her one of those cool cups that has the straw the folds down, and it's spill proof. ... Well, her teacher told me she wasn't drinking much for a few days and when I got home I tried to drink out of her cup and couldn't get anything out!

I took apart the whole cup and straw but I couldn't get it to work again. I think it being spill-proof ended up making it too good. So good that you can't even drink out of it.

Luckily, she had another cup at school so she didn't die of thirst or anything, but I still felt bad.

Yesterday I got her some more cups with straws. These can and do spill out of the side of the straw, but she doesn't try to tip it over, and I usually just keep water in her cup anyway. She loves them so much she walked around with it all day yesterday, even taking it outside with us.

It's so weird seeing her do such "big girl" things. I call her a baby but she's obviously growing up.

Speaking of growing up. This dress she's wearing from My Baby Clothes Boutique is one she's going to have to grow in to. It caught my eye when I saw it in their shop but the smallest size was 2T. I figured she can wear it next summer, and with a little touch of mom's handy work she could wear it now. I just tied the back with some extra ribbon. It's still a tad long, but she can walk in it without tripping.

Everyone who leaves a comment on this post will be entered to win a $25 gift card to My Baby Clothes Boutique, which sells all sorta of baby clothes, baby headbands, baby hats, tutus, and more.

If you follow them on facebook, twitter, or subscribe to their news letter you get an extra entry (two for following on twitter) just leave an extra comment for each entry. Random.org will choose the winner September 13th or Lil' J will draw a random number from a hat. I'll announce the winner on my facebook page.

My grab button malfunctioned last week. So sorry. It should be working this time.

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And don't forget to link up:

Also linking up to:

Small Style

Reminiscing

About her first smile.

When I first saw her squishy face.

Over her sweet baby breath.

About the news of her being a GIRL!

Her first kicks from within my tummy.

And oh yes... These:

What? It's been a month already?

Dear Baby Girl,

I was just getting used to saying you're 13 months and I just realized today that you're now 14 months. Holy cow that last month flew by! Probably the quickest one yet, it feels.

This month was a doozy for us. You started a new school. It's been really hard for both of us. You cried and cried the first few days I dropped you off, and so did I. Now you only cry sometimes, or for a moment, before I go. I can't wait for the day you tell me bye and run off to play with your friends.

White Ruffle Dress: Old Navy via Ebay; Coral Bow: Little Star Sweeper

Speaking of running, you're beginning to. You took off walking this last month, and you love being on your two feet. You're loving being able to carry things while you move around, and you laugh so hard when I say I'm going to get you or ask you where you're going.

Your new words are "bye bye" and "bubbles." Your teacher also told me you try to say your friend's names at school. You also sometimes call Snoop "Ba" I think short for "bad" but we're trying to change that. Poor Snoop. You also say "tin too" Which means thank you and it's so stinking cute!

Your favorite foods are Spanish rice and chicken, pizza, grapes, strawberries, and steak fries. You also love sandwiches. These are all our favorite foods too so you fit right in. You're still nursing. I thought you'd stop by now but you don't seem to be weaning yourself at all. The good thing is when you're teething like you are now, it's one way to make you feel better. You also haven't been sick yet. But I guess we're lucky. It could be the nursing or the fact that I let you eat off the floor, I haven't sterilized things immediately after you drop them, and I only sporadically wipe the shopping cart down for you. I guess it's built you up some nice immunities.

One of your new favorite things to do is brush your teeth. When I do the sign for it and ask you if you want to brush them you stick your tongue out and get excited. You have seven teeth, and I think you're about to get another.

Leg warmers, pearls, ruffle butt and bow: Belle Dezigns; Romper: Borrowed

Dancing and humming are also some new things you love to do. If I hum a song you wiggle your butt and start humming too. I think it's so adorable. Oh, and another funny thing you're doing is climbing on your rocking horse and rocking like crazy! You think it's so much fun. We're glad you like it.

You also like the "Art Show" episode of Yo Babba Gabba and you've watched it about two thousand times. We get the songs stuck in our heads too. I try to turn on a different episode or show but you aren't having it. I am trying to convert you to watching Disney movies instead because those will never get old to me.

I didn't think I could love you any more than I already do but I do! Every night after you go to bed I look at your pictures and get so excited to see you the next morning. You're my little buddy and I have such a blast hanging out with you. I thought I'd be sad about you getting bigger, especially since month after month is just flying by now! But I'm not sad. I'm enjoying seeing you learn and grow.

Your daddy says he loves how "cool" you're getting. He likes that he can chase you around and make you laugh, and get you to throw things. You two don't get to hang out as much these days but the time spent together I can tell, is much more cherished.

We love you so much. I hope you remember that always.

Love,

Mommy

 ***

Lil' J won a contest and as promised, I'm doing a giveaway for a $30 gift card on my Facebook Page to your store/restaurant/place of choice. If you don't have facebook, or would prefer not to comment there, leave a comment on this post instead. Only comment on one or the other please, not both. I'll combine entries to draw the winner. Giveaway ends Monday at 8pm CST.