The Paranoia

If my stomach so much as growls I'm thinking I may be pregnant. I've gotta go pee--Must be pregnant. My feet hurt... I'm tired... feel faint--Yep, it's the pregnancy. That's what I get right? I guess it's the price I pay for doing this and trying that. I knew this would happen and now I'm ready to KICK myself! Here's proof how paranoid I am:
I took some of ya'lls advice and just stocked up on pregnancy tests from the Dollar Store. I only got 5 though. That should hold me over for awhile.

It's weird, I haven't had this feeling for a long time. I've been on the pill, the depo shot, had an IUD, and finally... after about 5 years of diverse birth control I'm not using hormones.

I must admit, I use to think people who weren't using a hormonal form of birth control were kind of dumb... Now that I've crossed over to that side of the fence I can see it's not that strange, and it's a little annoying when people say "you're going to get pregnant right away." Well I hope not (that's not the plan)! BUT... My GYN said it could take up to a year for my cycle to go back to normal so I figured it would be best to start that timer now if that be the case.

I imagine I'll find myself in this "so now I know how it feels" scenario a lot more as my journey inches closer and closer toward motherhood. I get the feeling I'll be eating a lot of my words.

I'm trying not to talk about my paranoia. I really don't want to be "that girl." You know... The one who's always talking about the pregnancy-like sensations she feeling but INSISTS she's not (or doesn't think she's) pregnant. Although I wouldn't mind being like Michelle, and making my own personal book of my crazy-mind feelings of "maybe I'm pregnant" in a TTC Journal (when I'm actually TTC).

So far I've been pretty good about taking my Basal Temperature. I printed out about 6 months worth of charts and I've already got some dots on it! I'm surprised how FUN. It is--Wait... I'm not sure if "fun" is the right word, but it sure is interesting! I ordered "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" like a lot of you recommended. If what yall all are saying about it is right I should know when to and not to get pregnant (again, the latter being my goal). And I'm excited just to understand my anatomy better, I think it should be coming in this week! I actually don't even mind checking out that other stuff... Eer, keeping an eye on it at least (I'm not sure I know how the whole "process" should be done yet, I'm counting on the book for that one). Anything that keeps me from screwing up I'm all for!

I'm mostly worried because I just got a Tetanus/Pertussis shot and the doctor said I should wait three months before TTC, plus I'm not sure what hormones are still in my system after removing the Mirena, I've still got a little dental work to get done, AND I'm still trying to ween myself off 5-hour energy shots. Well I wanted to wait that long or longer ANYWAY but I'd feel bad if I messed up my fetus, hence my extra dose of paranoia, coming right up!