The Levels of Anonymity: Where Do You Draw the Line?

One of you brought up a great question in my last post... Stephanie asked what kind of steps we plan to take with our kids and what I'll post about and what I won't.

I personally am not a huge fan of anonymity. I mean, I don't mind to some extent but my favorite blogs are by women who "share all" and post pictures of their adorable kids and families. What can I say?... I like cute kids! And I like honesty.

I mentioned in my last post I'm already "out there" in the public eye... So I can't really go around saying "I don't want people to know my name... boo hoo!" Heck, I think the whole world knows my dog's name. But I don't think that will create any more stalkers than usual. I try to keep the two VERY separate... If anything, for my sanity. And one day, I'm sure I'll be out of public eye completely. I have also made it a point to not use my husband's name (Suga Lips) on this blog, or use my last name (IsAwesome). And I don't talk about where I live (in the Hood).

I can't say I won't use my kids names in the future because I KNOW baby names will be a topic I'll cover (again). I actually already have the names picked out and I can't picture not telling you their first name because they are SO CUTE! I think I'll probably use a nickname most of the time, but really... Who cares if you know my kid's name?--That's just me. BUT I DID promise my husband we won't tell anyone the boys name... It's our secret. So I'll try to keep that one.

I guess I could pull a Michael Jackson and call my kids "Blanket" and cover them up with bags and sheets so you can't see their faces... But I'm thinking I'll take my chances. Plus, I want the world to see their cuteness!.. As long as you don't steal the pictures and say they're yours I'm cool (I need to work on getting a thingy to put over my photos).

Once I get my DSLR you won't be able to KEEP me from taking pictures of anyone and everyone either, and if my babies are cute (which I'm praying they are) they probably will be plastered all over my blog.. So... Yea.

As far as personal privacy goes that's a whole 'nother topic! My husband and I draw separate lines for that. To me, this kind of blog is a girl thing, NO BOYS ALLOWED. If I were to write about postpartum depression or something, he may just not get it... And that's the sort of thing I think other women can relate to. A miscarriage.--My husband would probably rather keep something like that between us, but that's something I wouldn't be able to keep inside... I am an extrovert... I need to let stuff out, and talk about it with people who get it. I think that's a problem women may have had for a long time... They've maybe fells sad and depressed about things and not had a way to express that. A diary is great but it's so nice to know we're not ALONE. Through this blog I've found out I'm not the only crazy person out there who thinks about babies 24/7 who's not even trying for one yet... YAY!

We're going to continue to work on this battle, but I'm not too worried. Just so long as I don't post our secret little boy's name I think he'll forgive me and let me talk about my ovulation cycle, how I REALLY want a baby, and fertility routines all I want.

What about you? What levels of anonymity do you keep on your blog, or do you think you will keep with your kids? I know everyone is different, I'm just curious to know your take!

***Added***: I'm now a resident of "Central, TX"... (thanks for the tip). But I'm also wondering... By someone knowing your kid's first name... how will that make them easier to kidnap? -- Now yall have me all paranoid about someone kidnapping my unborn child! ***Added***

PS: And I'm afraid all of my drama overshadowed a post I was REALLY excited about. If you didn't see it, read my Sunday Praises post! :) I crossed a big one off my Baby Bucket List.

Where to Draw the Line?

"One thing that made me want to put off having children for the first few years of our marriage was the fear of raising a family in the crazy world we live in.

Being a journalist I’m very aware, and sometimes jaded by all of the sadness in the world. I haven’t grown to be fearful, rather just disappointed in people and their actions.

I’ve always been a sensitive person. I remember arriving home from kindergarten class, crying after a classmate called me ugly because of my dark skin.

My mother was just being introduced into this world of childhood bullying (well, from the “mom” perspective that is) since I am her oldest. She quickly learned though, after putting on her mama bird suit and visiting with my teacher asking what in the world was going on.

I see myself having the same reaction my mother did initially for just about any negative response towards my little girl. I feel like I want to shield her from the crazy, rude, and harsh world we live in. I know that’s not necessarily the right thing to do because one day she’ll have to grow up and wake up, but I wonder if there’s some happy medium..."

I've never really grown out of my sensitivity issues. Ask my husband, he'd tell you how quickly a snide remark can open up the flood gates.

I've never understood, and never will understand how people can be intentionally mean to people. A sarcastic comment on my part will quickly send me back peddling if I feel the slightest bit of harm toward my intended jokemate. I think that's why I'm not very funny.

Online, comments, remarks, thoughts and feelings are taken to a whole 'nother level. People can say what they want, unfiltered, and have the shield of a computer screen to hide behind.

I turned off anonymous comments from my blog after countless comments from people who would disagree with me on a topic, and say the meanest things, while too afraid to put their name to it. I can honestly say I have never and will never leave a rude anonymous comment on someone's blog. If they're writing about something I don't agree with I'll A. Either stop reading or B. Leave a comment with my disagreements but also leave a way they can contact me or respond in case they'd like to discuss further. I have no problem standing behind what I say, and I'd wouldn't say anything hurtful.

Bringing a baby into the world isn't an easy feat. Bringing a baby into the world and sharing my journal of the experience with the world is even more insane, but that's been my choice and I've been ok with that so far. But now that I'm weeks away from having her--with an audience that's multiplied so much more than I ever imagined it would--I'm faced with lots of questions about where to draw the line.

If my husband had his way, her birthday would be the last day of my blog, as my "journey toward motherhood" would be complete. Pictures wouldn't be displayed, names wouldn't be shared. He's obviously a much more private person than I am.

Being the open and excited person that I am, I feel like I'd want to share my joy, my baby girl, just as I have shared so much already, but at the same time I worry I'd be setting a target out to be hit. I wouldn't be able to contain my anger if someone said something hurtful about my daughter, or the way I choose to birth or raise her.

Initially I thought I'd share her first name after her birth, in a photo that would be removed a day or two later, but now I'm not so sure. I thought I'd flood my blog with photos, but now I'm, second-guessing.

I can't shield my little girl from the crappy parts of the world, but I can do my part in other places, starting online.

Where do you or will you draw the line online with your children? Do you use real names? Share photos? I'd love some other parenting opinions on this topic.

The first part of this post was originally written for my Project Pregnancy Blog. You can read the rest of my fears about my daughter facing racism and other issues on today's post over there.