The Prayer

Dear God,

I can't believe I'm saying this but... I want a baby.
It's not what I always wanted, I thought: One day maybe.

Over the years some things have changed.
My life, in many ways has been rearranged.
You sent me the man of my dreams earlier than I planned,
You are leading me YOUR way, I've witnessed this firsthand.

So please, help me continue to be a good wife,
as I strive to think through, and plan, my next stage of life.

"Family First" are words I try to remember,
but sometimes, that can make me a difficult staff member.

In the future I'd like to be lead to a way,
that will give be the time to be there each day.
Be there each day for my family I mean.
So common, let's go, go work as a team.

A child isn't something I've always wanted. You know that.
I change my mind a lot when it comes to when I want to try to have our first child.
I know you tell people when you know it's right for them but I can't tell if you're telling me.
I suppose at some point in time it's the right thing for everyone to do.
But I'm not sure I've heard you tell me it's right.
If it's not the right time I understand, because to be honest I don't think I'm quite ready yet.
But don't get me wrong, I know you'll help me through it if that's what you want.
There is one big favor I want to ask you though...
I want to be able to BE THERE for them.
I'd really appreciate it if you could lead me in a direction where that would make that possible.
I know families are your number one thing, and success in the family is my biggest priority.
That's why I'm hoping we--Me and you, can find a way to make this happen.
I know that's a hard thing to arrange for a lot of families.
These days a lot of families have both parents working.
I want to work, I love to work, but I'm hoping I an work a mom-friendly schedule.
This is really important to me... You know that.
So PLEASE, I'm listening.
Tell me what to do.

Hard for me to admit now.
It's not what I've always wanted.
I thought I wanted lots of money.
I thought I wanted to be a lot older.
I thought I wanted the most successful career.
But goals and dreams change. I'm realizing that now.
When I think about it all I want is a cute happy family.
I wish we could live in the jungle, or create our own farm.
Oh but I'd settle for a little house with a white picket fence...
And the opportunity to be there, to watch them learn and grow.