The "Natural" Family Planning Technique

WARNING: Some of the information contained in this post may or may not gross you out. So if you're a guy (specifically my husband) or if you find human sexual anatomy gross in any way, you may not want to read anymore. Consider yourself warned.

I've heard this called many athings. I've heard "not trying, not preventing," which in my book, IS trying--Which I may have been accused of in this post. But I beg to differ... I think people who may say "I'm not prevention at all, but leaving it up to the Lord" in turn will probably wind up pregnant, while those of us who are preventing still but say "If it still happens than maybe it was the Lord's will" is kind of a logical statement. I think if you're using SOME form of protection/prevention then you're not expecting to get pregnant. However, I do understand that my methods now may not be as effective, I'm still doing my best to stay un-pregnant.

One way I'm doing that is researching the Natural Family Planning or "NFP" method and/or the Fertility Awareness or "FAM" method. For now, I've just been mapping it all using the rhythmic method. I've been charting my days and what not and have been trying to avoid--(Ya know)--on certain days. I even downloaded a free iPhone application from Fertility Friend to keep track. It's REALLY helpful! Their website is nice too.
I've also heard of the ovulation/billings method, which seems a little more complex and takes more effort. You watch more for signs from your body, take your temperature a lot and check all sorts of nasty anatomy stuff. I bought a basal thermometer that I'm hoping to try to use, and map out my minor degree changes from day to day. If anything this should be a fun experiment right?

Here's my plan: Track as much as I can so I know what days to AVOID, and in turn, when it's baby makin' time, hopefully I'll have it down. But for now, I'll try to count and figure out the days, and keep using the magic gel (every time regardless) and hope I don't wind up pregnant for at least a few more months. I hear these methods work pretty well when used correctly.
I'm actually interested in finding more books on this topic. I know a lot of my friends tried this because they don't like hormones. Most of them are pregnant now, but I think it's because they weren't trying hard enough. At least that's what I'm telling myself so I have the confidence to make it though.

I hear this way of tracking is great for when you're TTC too because you'll know your cycle very well. Part of me doesn't get that though... Can't you just do it every day? That's one way to try to make a baby. At least that covers all of your bases! That's my plan at least.

I dunno, what do you think? Have you tried this method before? It work for you? Have any books or sites to recommend?

The Looming Question

I'm a sucker for infomercials. I try not to watch them but on the weekends, when I'm working there's one television above my desk that always shows the most appealing infomercials. I've already bought Smooth Away, Mighty Mendit, I'm about to go buy a Smamwow, and as soon as they release the college addition Snuggies, I'm all on that!

Given my background on infomercials I'm pretty much doomed when I see something somewhat relevant to me. If it's sold in stores, I'll search for it and purchase it the same week.

Last night it wasn't an infomercial that caught my attention, but one of those women commercials by First Response ...The kind that makes you think 'I hope my husband's not watching'. I actually like their pregnancy test commercials, (and when I've had a few scares in the past I was always sure to use their kits). But it wasn't a pregnancy test that caught my eye this time.

The commercial showed different women asking the same question "am I fertile?" We've all gotta ask ourselves that at some point in time right (or am I just crazy?) I've actually even found myself wondering if that's why I haven't had a "slip up" like some of my friends. It sounds strange but when you know as many people as I do who "accidentally" got knocked up, you begin to wonder if it just happens to everyone... And perhaps the reason it hasn't happened to me is because I'm... *gasp*... not fertile.

I successfully made it though my first month of Natural Family Planning method(s) as BC and stayed un-pregnant. While this is very good news, I am beginning to wonder even more if maybe I wouldn't get pregnant anyway.

Regardless if it's all in my mind, it's something I've spent some time wondering about and I think I'm going to give this so-called Fertility Test (no, not an ovulation test, that tells you when you're fertile this is suppose to tell you IF you're fertile at all!) a try. It tests your FSH level and can basically tell if your egg quantity and quality is good. Obviously if there is something else wrong I wouldn't know, but this would be a nice confidence booster anyway right? Just nice to know I think--Worth it to get a little piece of mind, right? You're suppose to take it on day 3 of your cycle and that's tomorrow for me. Just not sure if it's $25 for two tests worth it... Maybe I should save the cash, buy a new shirt, and eventually take my chances.

The Sex Natzi

You know that commercial that goes: "When you're ready to have a baby, nine months is long enough to wait?" Well, they fail to mention 1. That is actually more like 10 months and 2. All the waiting beforehand!

There are a few technicalities I'm trying to work out during the next few months, before turning the Baby Makin' Machine "on" and into full-gear--But in the mean time, I'm planning my strategy--Sketching my blueprints--Setting the table--for when it's All Systems Go.

...You think I'm kidding? I'm planning a little D B Day of my own over here and there's going to be no excuses for not following my rules.

If he only knew what I have in store, he'd sleep with one eye open. I've already got plans for a few pair of underwear that just aint gonna make the cut. That's right-- Any undies that are the slightest bit tight... Gotta go! Can have any tighty-whities hurting the team.

Speaking of the team--Forget saving electricity. It's hot in Texas, and desperate times call for desperate measures... We're not sacrificing the swimmers for a cheaper electric bill.--And you'd better believe I'll turn the hot water off if I have to. Hunni likes to take a hot bath every now and then but that little habit has gotta go too.

Peas? "NO you can't eat that, what are you THINKING?!" ...We hardly eat them, but you'd better believe they're out of our diet for the next--Until I'm pregnant. Take the vitamin hun... I'm already taking one everyday, 'bout time he starts too.

Now's the time I also thank the Lord my hunni's not a biker... Cause I'd hate to make him quit a hobby.

And when my temperature shoots up and it's time to rock and roll...The dog is going to his own room and the house WILL be on lock-down. And I may just have to bust out those newlywed handcuffs again.

It's sad. Because I know if pregnancy just happened... I'd live with it. But knowing that I'm actually going to have to WORK for this makes me nervous. What if I fail? If it takes awhile? I know they say it does for most people but that's just not fair. People who want to, have to wait. And people who don't want to, get it anyway?

What if my Baby Makin' Machine is broken--And this whole time, all these years I just had no idea? Not. Fair. Every single month of failure will be TORTUROUS!

...I know stress can make things harder too... Perhaps that's a good excuse to get a spa massage daily during this process. And should I get one of these?

I promise I will NOT take fertility for granted. I've met my fair share of women struggling and who have struggled and my heart aches for them just reading and hearing about their stories. If I'm faced with the same challenge I worry I won't be as strong.

Having a baby isn't something I've wanted or admitted until very recently. Now it's practically all I can think about. Yea, I go back and forth a little still, but deep down I know there's a looming "yes" underneath all of my doubts.

I'm already tracking and researching... My sweet husband, when it's time to turn the Baby Makin' Machine "ON"... Poor guy's not going to know what hit him.

The Big Goal

I feel like I have so much to say and I haven't said it for fear of changing my mind, not sure if it was going to pull through, and other reasons, but I've decided to just LET IT ALL OUT today!

First off, I want to add a disclaimer to those who know me in real life (99% of you can probably skip down two paragraphs). "What happens on Baby Makin' Machine, STAYS on Baby Makin' Machine." And I'm not just talking about copyright issues or plagiarism. No, as far as I know I haven not fallen victim to this. I'm talking about what I'm saying here. Yes, I know it's a public blog and anyone who wants to read can read it, but I'd like to keep it at that.

Got a question? Ask me in the comments section, or in an email, I'd be more than happy to write a post answering it. I write about these things because it is easier to write about than talk about.

I wanted to get all of that out of the way before I said this. After six months of having this blog, going back and forth on when to try to have a baby. Debating whether or not I'm willing to sacrifice sleep. Getting off of hormonal birth control:...

I'VE SET A DATE!

See that switch at the top? Well my mental picture of my baby makin' machine switch looks a little like that and I've set a date to switch it on. I wasn't planning on blogging about it because I always thought when I turned my baby makin' machine "on" I'd want to keep it secret so everyone is surprised when they find out I'm with-spawn. Well, after much contemplation I've decided I will write about it, because it not only is a part of my journey but a HUGE part. And I think so many women are going through the same thing and hopefully what I go through, and what I learn can be helpful to them--AND women who have been through what I'm going through can share their tips--Yay!!

As for the date--Well, I said it first yesterday on Conceive Online. Oh yea, did I mention I'm the magazine's newest blogger? Check it out. If I'm not open enough here... You'll get all of the dirty details there. And join the "My Conceive" community and show your support for me there! The website was EXACTLY in my ballpark. I've never seen a more helpful site/magazine for where I am right now. It's ALL inclusive helpful information on before AND during TTC. The blog's name (which hubby helped me choose) is "Ready or Not."

But like I've said... The date... August or September. That's when I'm planning turning my baby makin' machine "on". I have been known to change my mind before--In fact, I didn't even blog about my last two goals... May and June. I sorta chickened out. Plus, there are a few things I'm trying to get done first.--For one, I'm going to the dentist again to get my cavities filled. I'm doing that in a few weeks. But this time, hubby and I are both working for this goal and feeling good about it. So I'm hopeful and planning on pulling through this time. I'll have been off hormonal birth control and taking prenatals or five months, and I've already for hubby hooked up with vitamins... Someone told me Zinc is somethin' a guy's gotta have so I went out and bought him some vitamins the next day. I'm hoping once I kick the machine into action it works, and that it isn't broken, but I'm taking steps to help with that too.

If you read this post last week, you'll know I've been a little nervous about being able to produce a baby. I mean... I haven't gotten pregnant on birth control and it seems like so many of my friends HAVE! I've also talked about my fear of turning into a Sex Natzi. Now that I know the rules to making a baby, and what helps, I plan to follow them to the best of my abilities to make a baby FAST.

In consequence to that, I know that can cause added stress and can cancel some of my progress. SO... I've decided to do something that will help lower stress, help with fertility AND cross something off my Baby Bucket List all at the same time... I'm going to try FERTILITY YOGA!

Cool, no? I have tried meditation once before, but never anything like this. I've been in touch with the wonderful women of Pulling Down the Moon, and (hopefully next month) I'll be starting a fertility yoga class here in Austin, and learn exercises I can do to help stimulate fertility, while lower my stress-level in the process.

I started reading Fully Fertile. Their book. It's a 12-week process to achieve optimum fertility. I'm suppose to read the entire book before starting the process, and I'm hoping to just be completing the process the same time I switch my machine "on."

I just finished reading the first section about breathing and yoga positions. I am DYING to get to it! I also read some good tips about good exercise and what's "too much." And another good cleansing tip I learned that I am SO starting ASAP is to drink a thermos-full of warm water and lemon daily. I don't normally like water with lemon but I think it'll be a fun experiment knowing it could help a little with getting ready for baby makin'! I'm also hoping to learn a lot more about good nutrition, healthy living, and things like that while reading this book.--I'll keep you updated on it!

I know a lot of people would see something like this and think that it's for people dealing with infertility.. And I thought that at first too, but then I realized that something like this is perfect for someone who is trying to get ready to have a baby. I know for some people it's just easy to do the freaky-deek and get pregnant, but for other's it takes work. I also know a lot of women who are going through "baby fever" and aren't sure what to do with themselves while they wait to finish school, or for their husbands to come around, or to accomplish a certain goal... I think stuff like this is great to do while you're passing the time.

I've said before that I don't think I'll have the "in-between" stage of "not trying, not preventing." In my eyes I either want to have a child, or I don't. And when I'm not preventing anymore I'm going to be trying to get pregnant.

I don't want to set myself up for disappointment, but I'm going to do some experiments the next few months. I'm going to try to do everything I can so I can get it right the first time. Worth a try right? We'll see! I will try my best NOT to be disappointed though if it doesn't happen right away--I can't control EVERYTHING. So I'm going to try not to stress in my planning, but have FUN in my planning. Make sense?

I'm going to be blogging about fertility yoga, and a lot more things I'm trying, reading, and experimenting with. I'm surprised by seeing the results of my poll, and seeing that so many future mama's like myself are reading my blog! It's nice to know I'm not in this boat alone... And I have lots of great stuff for future mamas and other women looking to make additional babies. I'm so excited for this commitment I'm making and the turn this blog is taking.

Hopefully this will not only continue my detailed diary, but also be helpful for others. So stay tuned for updates! And let the countdown begin!

Any advice?

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To my real-life friends: If you read my blog--Thank you! But if you're a member of my family or a co-worker, I'd appreciate if my writings stayed with you and didn't become family/newsroom gossip. I only say this because I think sometimes things can get misconstrued, and all of a sudden, just because I want a baby one day, or have a dream about my child the next, I'm all of a sudden the "kid obsessed" person, or being asked if we're "trying to make a baby" in places I'd probably prefer not to talk about it. Sure, I'm an open person, and I'd be more than happy to talk with you about it in private.--I like to keep this blog (and my blog Twitter account) as my ONLY "public" forum. Thanks!

The Baby Makin' "Do's"

One thing I think I have on my side with this whole reproduction planning is feeling empowered by knowing my body and "what works."

It's not about stressing to me or over-planning, it's about going for what I want. For some reason I don't tend to do anything half-A (if you know what I mean).

I came across an article on Conceive's website about 14 Simple Changes That Enhance Fertility (aka becoming with-spawn), and I was surprised to find I'm already doing most of them. A lot of them I've read about in Fully Fertile too... Which has a holistic approach to achieving optimal fertility.

Let me share:

1. Get regular exercise.
Ok ok, it depends what you count as "regular" I've been pretty bad about my daily walks with Snoop lately, but I promise to do this better next month. Nothing too heavy, just stimulating the body more and making it think "baby makin."

2. Avoid artificial lubricants.
For now this isn't a problem, but did you know stuff like KY Jelly could keep the swimmers from getting to their destination? I did! So I got some Conceive Plus, I'm going to try. It's suppose to not only NOT prevent them from getting there but HELP them get there and survive a little longer. (A review and giveaway is coming).

3. Lose or gain if you need to.
My BMI is pretty much right where it needs to be for now but again this is about making your body think "baby makin'" so a little bit of exercise can help.

4. Don't forget the folate.
I've been taking prenatals for months now (and I'm getting a new natural one soon too that I'll be reviewing and giving away). I've also been taking a calcium pill daily since I know I'm not getting enough (I don't drink milk) and that can cause fertility problems for some women. The Bellybars I eat daily too also help with folic acid... Yum!

5. Have a bowl of full-fat ice cream.
I have to admit this isn't one I've heard before. The fat can help your body get all dosed up for baby! Since reading this I've been chowing down on cookie dough ice cream. I try not to eat too much though.. Or eat it with something warm (like a brownie... Yum!) Because digestion is a "warm process" according to Fully Fertile, and giving your body too much cool stuff causes extra work to warm it up.

6. Do it on the right days.
Well, umm... Yea, I'm doing everything but IT (without the blockades) once I remove the barriers hopefully we'll be in the clear. I was tracking my BBT for months but I lost my thermometer and I've promised not to buy another for a few months. I think I'll be ok though cause I know other signs.

7. Avoid trans fats.
No french fries? Is that what this means? Ok honestly, I haven't heard of this before and I am a little sad about it!!

8. Kick the butts.
Not as in booties, as in cigarettes... Never smoked, nasty stuff if you ask me.

9. Relax.
I'm getting better at this, trying to be happy, pray more and meditate more, still hoping to try yoga soon too... hopefully fertility yoga!

10. Keep it cool (for men only).
I have been yelling at my hubs about this and he seems to be doing his own research too, saying exactly how much caffeine he's allowed to have before it effects his boys... Either way, I'm keeping an eye on the bath tub temperature... I'll turn off the water heater if I have to!! ..Ok, for real though... I think it's pretty much ok as long a he doesn't go hot tubbing daily.

11. Cut down on caffeine and alcohol.
Never drank, so I don't miss what I haven't had. Caffeine I have COMPLETELY eliminated (yay!) ... Minus a few hiccups here and there when I've had a REALLY early morning at work.

12. Choose vegetable sources of protein.
I am a meat eater, which I think is also important for fertility, but I'm TRYING to choose more organic stuff, so I can avoid meat pumped with steroids and what not. I'm also eating more vegetables just because it makes me FEEL healthy.

13. Don't Douche.
I use this as a term, not a product... When I'm yelling it out my car window at the jerk who cut me off.

14. Assume the right position.
I've heard missionary works pretty good, then you've gotta stay that way for about 15 minutes after, or just go to sleep that way. I may get up after awhile to avoid a UTI, but we'll have to see how that goes!!

So there ya have it! Helpful right? I'm surprised I've been doing most of these things just for practice rounds, hopefully when games are in for real, I'll be set to go!

One other think I want to mention that I remember from reading Fully Fertile that I think is REALLY important and that I want to try to focus on is getting enough sleep. Our bodies need to recoup from the day and that takes time and a full nights rest. One of the challenges in Fully Fertile is to get at least 8 hours sleep every day for a week. I'm not sure I've gone a week straight yet, but you'd better believe I'll be using that excuse next month when I don't want to get up to let Snoop out.

Any others you can think of? What do you think of this list?

My Top Ten Baby Making Tips

Now I'm not a fertility expert or anything but I do know a thing or two about baby making. Before trying to get pregnant, I researched fertility tips and tricks and thought "what the heck, why not try it."

So in no particular order, here are some things you can keep in mind if you think you may want to try to get pregnant in the next year or so:

1. Start Taking Prenatal Vitamins: Never too early to start. It can take your body a few months to stock up on all of the nutrients you may be low on (especially folic acid), so it's not a bad idea to start a few months before you begin trying to conceive.

I picked up some cheapos at first but then a few people told me they go straight through you and don't break down right. So I got Garden of Life Raw Prenatal vitamins. All of the ingredients are things you can understand, and while they don't taste the best, they're easy to swallow. I also took the Oceans Mom vitamins (and still do) which has DHA and is great for baby's brain development. I attribute Lil' J's advanced intelligence in part to my religiousness of taking these.

Vitamins not your thing? BeNice Prenatal is a drink that comes in a packet you mix in with water to get all the prenatal vitamins you need! (Free shipping right now too!!)

2. Eat Healthier: Really, you should be getting all of your nutrients from food but take note to things you can cut back on, and what you can eat more of. Green leaves are more rich in folic acid, so eat lots of yummy salad. Also, cut back on caffeine. Studies are back and forth on whether or not caffeine affects the ability to conceive but it doesn't hurt to take a break from it. I did, and haven't looked back since. I had my husband give it up too because excessive caffeine can affect sperm count.

Also, think about cutting out artificial sweaters if you haven't already. If you're craving something sweet, BellyBar has a bunch of yummy things to try. I love their shakes but my favorite is their Berry Nutty Cravings. They also have a new "boost" bar that compliments your prenatal vitamins.

3. Keep Warm: I read a great book called Pulling Down the Moon which has 12 steps to optimizing your fertility. One thing I thought was interesting learning about were my body's processes, and how fertility is a warm process, therefore drinking warm liquids (or water at room temperature versus cold temperature) made less work for my body. I dunno, maybe it was all in my head but I ate a lot of steamed veggies, and drank a lot of warm water with lemon, and if I ever ate something cool, I would usually drink something warm with it.

4. Use a Sperm-Friendly Lubricant: Did you know stuff like KY jelly inhabits the swimmers from getting to their destination? It's not birth control or anything but it doesn't help things when you're trying to get pregnant. I used Conceive Plus. Which doesn't inhibit them and supposedly helps the swimmers get there easier.

5. Keep the Legs Up: Ya know. After doing the deed. Use good old gravity for 5-10 minutes to get the swimmers on their way.

6. Get Your Spouse Involved: My husband thought I was a little crazy when I was telling him what he could and couldn't eat and to skip hot baths. But it's good to discuss things and make sure you're on the same page. It's a good idea for him to eat better, exercise too. My husband used these vitamins. Oh, and Horny Goat Weed is supposedly suppose to help male fertility but really... Who the heck knows! Whatever you do, don't be like me and turn in to a sex natzi.

7. Relax: It's the #1 think you'll get tired of hearing from people when you're trying to conceive. But try it. Go on a baby-makin moon, or try Circle + Bloom (a fertility relaxation program). I did both. Use this as an opportunity to try that yoga class you've been eye-balling. Or start a new book. Something to get your mind off trying to conceive (TTC). If it doesn't work, you can always think about all of the reasons why you DON'T want to get pregnant and try to trick your uterus using reverse psychology.

8. Get Regular Exercise: I took my dog for a jog every day (obviously pre-baby. Now he's lucky if I remember to pet him). Gaining or loosing weight can whip your baby making machine into gear! You can try Carmen Electra's Striptease DVDs like I did during my stripper stint and hit two birds with one stone!

9. Know Your Fertile Days: There's a few key days every month that you're most fertile. You can take your basal body temperature every day to track when you ovulate. I did this for a month but it really took the fun out of "being spontaneous" (but even when I wasn't tracking I still knew when I was ovulating I just didn't tell my husband so he thought it was spontaneous). I recommend the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility to learn more about that good stuff.

10. Know it Can Take Time: Only about 25% percent of couples actively trying, get pregnant in the first month of trying. You really have only a 25% chance in any given month but 90% of couples get pregnant within a year of trying. So don't give up!

Questions anyone?

And here's a little something to help--Everyone who comments on this post before October 9th will be entered to win a pack of the Garden of Life Prenatal Vitamins I mentioned earlier!

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Random.org winner: Commenter #37: Brittany!