The "Secret" Dilemma

I know this is dumb... REALLY dumb, but the more I think about officially TTC and possibly getting pregnant sometime in the maybe, could-be, possibly near future, I'm wondering the order of "sharing the news."

See, here's the thing. Of course I'll tell my husband first... In fact I've already decided a REALLY fun way I'm going to tell him (I'm so excited about it). I'd have to tell my BFFs Shannon and Gina right away too... Maybe even before I tell my husband.

Then I think we'll keep the good news a secret between us for awhile to let it soak in and stuff... In my perfect world I'm thinking maybe a few weeks at most, then here's the order I'd like to tell people:

1. Our immediate families: Parents, siblings, grandparents.

2. Twitter friends (actually I may even tell them before family... Like, as the pee is drying on the stick. Sorry).

3. My 3 closest work friends and swear them to secrecy.

4. On my blog here and on my Conceive blog.. And swear my other work friends who read it (I think one or two) to secrecy as well.

5. Other family... Uncles, Aunts, everyone who hasn't heard through the grapevine.

Then when I'm past the first trimester and less likely to miscarry I'll tell the others I wouldn't want to tell earlier:

6. Close church friends, other friends on my cell phone list, people I'm close enough with to share the news... I'd probably put it on my personal blog too by then (no one reads it anymore though).

7. I may hint to it on facebook... I actually have a fun way I've planned to do this as well. But most likely people will probably just find out as I'm posting belly pictures. Or maybe I'll shout "I'M PREGNANT" after 4 months or so. I just don't want to be inconsiderate to people who maybe have been trying awhile.

After it's obvious:

8. Other work friends. I don't think I'll tell everyone at work until people start asking.. Which actually, in a news place, word can spread VERY fast. So I'm going to try to keep it a secret as long as possible (I'm thinking until I'm about 4 months or so) I'd like to be showing before I start telling people there. Not sure why... It's weird to imagine myself all pregnant on TV. And if your a working woman you may understand the sort of fear of maternity leave thing.

If it were up to my husband we'd find out... Wait at least three months before telling anyone, and then only tell family. We wouldn't tell people on facebook and I wouldn't write about it on my blog... Ok he'd let me write about it but he says not for three months. UGH!

Can I just tell you that's NOT happening? I think he's a suffer in silence kind of guy but if I suffered the tragedy of a miscarriage I wouldn't want to do it alone. If I write about an early pregnancy here and then (God forbid) lose my baby, I think I'd rather have the support of other women who have been through the same thing rather than never tell anyone. BUT... That's why I'd wait awhile to tell people on Facebook and what not... Not everyone catches every update.

The only down side is I can't blog about it before we tell family... I'm sure my husband's family would kill us... While they don't read my blog daily, his family is big enough to where SOMEONE somewhere is reading, and it would quickly travel back through the grapevine.

That's a little hard for me because I feel like I've been blogging about this whole decision to (or not to) have a baby... Then getting ready for TTC, then you obviously know when I start TTC, then I'm sure I'll be blogging about my first two week wait... Then what? Nothing? If Aunt Flow ignores my letters and comes back then I'll blog about that but if she eventually listens.. I dunno, it may get a little quiet around here or something. I'm not good at keeping secrets so that'll be difficult.

My family, I know doesn't read my blog, but I'm sure that would be a sucky way for any family to find out (which, a similar situation has happened before but we won't go into that).

So what do I do? Hold it in until we tell family even if it's MONTHS?! Hopefully I can convince him otherwise, but this is definitely one of those things we'll have to agree on. What would I blog about all of that time? If I dropped hints would you catch them?

What order did you tell people?

Telling Our Families

There's no question telling people has been one of the most exciting parts of this whole process right now. Especially family, because they're so happy for us... And close friends... And you of course! I wrote down the experience of telling our families the day after we broke the news so I'd remember.

5 Weeks 3 Days written October 26th and saved for today.

We told our parents last night. I'm SOOOO much more excited now, it feels real, and I'm feeling more confidant about it all! I do worry a little still about having to share bad news. Believe it or not I feel like it would be easier to share with you than with family just because I know so many strangers out there know what it feels like... And I wouldn't feel like I was letting you down. I worry about letting family down. It seems easier to express my feeling with people I don't know sometimes.

Anyway, I'm sending those negative thoughts away and bringing positive ones in!

It was so fun hearing the excitement in our parents' voices! In no particular order of reenactment:

I called my mom and was passed around to a few of my siblings before talking to her, then when she took the phone I said "Hi grandma!"

"Grandma?"She said. "Why are you calling me that?"
"Cause I'm 5 weeks pregnant!"
"5 weeks?! Why are you just now telling me?"

I'm glad we didn't wait until Christmas... I wouldn't have been able to do it... I'm not secretive, I'm not private, I want to talk about it and get excited!

My dad kept saying "Wow, that's all right, that's all right..." But picture that in a happy grandpa-sounding tone. And he told me how proud he is of me, and how happy he is to see how things have turned out for me. It made me feel so good!

It was so fun telling my husband's parents. We knew Sunday night the family would be spending the night together watching their current favorite television series. It's a tradition started a few years ago when 24 first came out. I'm not sure what they're watching now, and I knew we'd be interrupting but I also knew it would be worth it.

My husband thought of a clever way to tell his mom while she was on the phone and she yelled the news back to the rest of the family... I heard the applause.

A few key phrases stick out from that conversation:
"It's about time"

"She's in labor RIGHT NOW!"

"Your prize is going to be one spoiled grandchild"... Followed by a loud response from my SIL "NOOO!"

And one of my favorites: "She's probably updating her blog as we speak."

Yea, you'd think so, but look how long I kept this in! I told family first... And I'm proud of myself for that.

How did you tell your family?