The Scary Regret

I try to live my life with no regrets. From time to time there are little things I wish I didn't say or do, but overall, I don't have (m)any major regrets. That's not to say things haven't been difficult. Thinking about how we bought our condo just a year and a half before a major recession and housing crisis doesn't give my stomach the best feeling, but we felt good about it. I have to keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason. Luckily we found a great renter, and we're praying she'll stay another year.

Moving half-way across the country wasn't easy. Sometimes we miss our family and friends, and wonder why we left... But I know if we didn't move here I'd be complaining about the snow, and wondering worlds of "what ifs" about moving. And I'm actually liking Austin... A lot. I think I could actually make this place home.

I've never regretted getting married when I did. In fact, I think that was probably the best decision I've made in my life. I was young, two weeks short of my 19th birthday, but I knew that I was not making a mistake.

Now I'm approaching life's next stage, one of the final stages of adulthood...Parenting, and I can't help but think about all of the timing questions and what I'll think after--Years after. Everyone always says "it'll change your life" I know that... That's part of the reason why you choose to take that step. Many people then say "...But I wouldn't trade [baby name] for the world." I'm so glad that's the case, I'd feel bad if you regretted your decision. But occasionally I do get the response "If I could do it over and get the same children I probably would have waited longer," and that is what scares me. Hindsight is great when it comes to things you'll have a chance to do over... But going from being a non-parent to being a parent is kind of a one-time thing. So the only reasonable solution I can think of is learning from the wise.

Only once has someone told me "If I could do it over I wouldn't have waited as long to have children." If my memory serves me correctly he had had several kids, all were grown, but apparently he and his wife waited a few years.

I LOVE all of the time I'm getting to spend with my Boo right now. He makes me breakfast, when I come home for lunch he's making me something yummy, and dinner time we'll eat together and watch a favorite TV show or movie. We've never got to spend as much time together as we do now, (though our first year of marriage we took four classes together and that was probably pretty close) and I'm realizing this fun quality time at home and little cheap outings around town is just as treasured as the fun big trips (which we don't get to do often anyway). What's one more person joining in on the fun?

While I'm really enjoying our pre-parenting stage of life, and not stressing about our future as much, I do wonder... Will I regret waiting or not waiting? Five, ten or fifteen years from now, will I look back and think "I could have waited longer?" And what do I want for my children? Do I want my little girls to grow up, get married and have babies when they're still young themselves? Or do I wish for them minds off boys, instead focusing successful careers and bettering themselves? Whatever it is, shouldn't I at least give myself that same advice?