The Working Mom

My mom was a working mom, so was my husband's mom. That's just normal to us. Most likely this will be me. I think there are ups and downs with the duty of motherhood tied in with another full-time job. Like I said here, I'm hoping my husband can help with some of the homemaking, kid raising duties (at least at first), but we'll see what happens.

My mom was a working mom, not because she wanted to be, but because she had to be. She found cheap childcare until I was old enough to watch my siblings after school and during the summer time and we were at home alone. For a little while my mom worked an overnight shift, so she would be home most of the day while we were, but a lot of the time she'd be sleeping so my sister and I entertained ourselves.

I know being a working mom was challenging for her not only because she hated being away from us, but because we were hard work! Luckily, (although we weren't perfect kids by any means), my sister who is four years younger than I, and myself were pretty good at keeping to ourselves.

Our sister Lauren was next, she is 11 years younger than I. Then my brother, Michael was adopted and closed the age gap between the youngest two.

Being the oldest, I did a lot of help around the house. I changed countless diapers and really learned how to take care of us all. When my parents weren't home (which was a lot) I was in charge, and responsible for any damage that was done. A lot of times I was in charge of helping people with homework, and making a quick dinner. For a time, I was in charge of making sure my siblings got to their activities and practices, then got home and ready for bed.

Growing up with no parents staying home had it's up and down sides. The up side is I learned how to do practical things that still help me today. I learned responsibility, and I grew up REAL fast. On the down side, I wasn't use to many home cooked meals, to this day, I still have a hard time making a meal from a cook book--And I didn't get much help with homework. It broke my mother's heart when she couldn't make it to my talent shows or cheerleading games, but you know what... She still made it to most things. She came to my pageants, helped me get ready for prom. She was working but I remember her being there when it mattered most.

My mom was working then, and she's STILL doing it! The next child came 9 years after Lauren--My youngest sister is 3. I'm the oldest of five children, and my mother has pretty much been at work the whole time. Quite a bit of the time she was doing it by herself too. My dad was on the road as a truck driver and she had to work as well as take care of us. They separated about five years ago, and divorced a couple of years ago. Now my mother has a 14, 12, and 3 year old at home she's taking care of alone, AND working MORE than 40 hours a week to support them.

On a slight side note, I'm not writing this to dog on my dad. My dad has (especially recently) been there for me more than anyone in my family. We've had our rough patches in life but I know he's there for me. My mom though, does not have an easy job.

If I am a working mother I think I'll face different challenges. It'll be hard for me to feel like I'm missing things. I hate being left out, and the thought of missing the first smile, first laugh, first steps, makes my heart sink already.

I'd like that my sons and daughters would grow up seeing their mother as a professional career woman. Someone putting my degree and skills to good use. They could witness first hand that hard work can pay off with a successful career... But I don't want them to think I wasn't there when they needed me.

I think I put extra pressure on myself to be a career woman because of my background. Being a black, LDS woman makes me want to work five times as hard as an average person because I feel like I want to do things people said I couldn't do.

Growing up people would assume I got into BYU because I was black... No, I was accepted because I had a 3.7 GPA, I was class president, and graduated high school a year before the rest of my class. I hate it when people assume I am where I am because of the way I look. I am where I am because I've worked my 'A' off.

Giving up what I've worked my whole life for, career wise, would be a challenge for me. It's not something I'm unwilling to do, I just think... I've gotten this far so it would be hard to stop now.

Lucky for me I have a great, very supportive husband who already does most... Ok pretty much all of the housework (I'm actually writing this while he's doing a deep clean in the kitchen). Hopefully we'll be able to find a balance that works for our family. And I pray that I will never have to raise our future children alone.

Being a mom... PERIOD is difficult. I don't have to be a mom to know that. I don't know that from experience but I can tell from the passion of my readers, and by looking at my own mom. I don't think it matters what kind of mom you are SAHM, WAHM, WM, or just MOM... If I have the opportunity to be at home with my future children I hope I will see it as a blessing...It's a blessing my mother dreamed of but has yet to have. I think being a working mom must also be very difficult, especially if you don't have a husband at home taking care of the children, or just someone to help share the duties... But after witnessing what my mother does, for ME...being a working single mom would be the most difficult job in the world.

PS: To read more of what's turned into a "SAHM Series" click here. Tomorrow I'm writing about my dream job (today)... "The WAHM"