The Babymoon

We've all heard of a honeymoon, but what about a babymoon? Nowadays, people do it while they're pregnant, before the baby is born as a "last hurrah" before parenthood The couple will go out when the mom-to-be is in her second trimester or so, and get couple massages, eat good food, and just have a romantic getaway (according to my Google results). OR (as my well educated already mother blog friends have informed me) The time after the baby is born and there's bonding. Family is there everyone's all lovey dovey and giving the new parents time to sleep, etc. I'll eventually probably do those things too--But I'm gonna invent my own type of "babymoon" for now-- A "baby-makin'moon" (and it's self explanatory).

I'm down for anything that gives me an excuse to go on a trip! Oh yea, I'm down with that. What better excuse to go on a vacation and get it on? But Now my question is "where to?"

Originally I had it all planned out... I wanted to start baby makin' on my 5th anniversary on a cruise to the Caribbean. Well, I don't really like to do the same thing more than once, and not that I'm complaining but we just went on a Caribbean cruise so I'm looking for something different, and our 5th anniversary is in December and we may celebrate this a little earlier than that. If I went on a Disney Cruise I think I'd be ok with that, but I doubt I'll be able to convince my man to do that before we have a little one.

Right now I'm thinking either bed and breakfast in the mountains, a cabin in the mountains, a Jamaican cruise for Jamacin'a-baby as my friend @Kimba told me, or some other beachy place. I'm thinking the less activities and people the better. No kids (as not to scare us out of it), so that's making me think not a cruise, but it's not completely out of the picture. And possibly someplace cold so we'll want to stay inside *wink wink nudge nudge*

I know there's probably a good chance the deed won't be said and done after the BabyMakin'Moon but it would be a fun way to start the baby makin' machine, no? And what a great way to celebrate the start of a new stage of life. It'll be memorable, that's for sure. Did you do one? What did you/ would you have done? Suggestions?

I'm actually so set on this now that I don't even want to try make a baby for real until I'm on this stinkin' babymakinmoon! Don't you love these excuses for fun things? First it was Push Presents and now Babymakinmoons, what's next?!

The Looming Question

I'm a sucker for infomercials. I try not to watch them but on the weekends, when I'm working there's one television above my desk that always shows the most appealing infomercials. I've already bought Smooth Away, Mighty Mendit, I'm about to go buy a Smamwow, and as soon as they release the college addition Snuggies, I'm all on that!

Given my background on infomercials I'm pretty much doomed when I see something somewhat relevant to me. If it's sold in stores, I'll search for it and purchase it the same week.

Last night it wasn't an infomercial that caught my attention, but one of those women commercials by First Response ...The kind that makes you think 'I hope my husband's not watching'. I actually like their pregnancy test commercials, (and when I've had a few scares in the past I was always sure to use their kits). But it wasn't a pregnancy test that caught my eye this time.

The commercial showed different women asking the same question "am I fertile?" We've all gotta ask ourselves that at some point in time right (or am I just crazy?) I've actually even found myself wondering if that's why I haven't had a "slip up" like some of my friends. It sounds strange but when you know as many people as I do who "accidentally" got knocked up, you begin to wonder if it just happens to everyone... And perhaps the reason it hasn't happened to me is because I'm... *gasp*... not fertile.

I successfully made it though my first month of Natural Family Planning method(s) as BC and stayed un-pregnant. While this is very good news, I am beginning to wonder even more if maybe I wouldn't get pregnant anyway.

Regardless if it's all in my mind, it's something I've spent some time wondering about and I think I'm going to give this so-called Fertility Test (no, not an ovulation test, that tells you when you're fertile this is suppose to tell you IF you're fertile at all!) a try. It tests your FSH level and can basically tell if your egg quantity and quality is good. Obviously if there is something else wrong I wouldn't know, but this would be a nice confidence booster anyway right? Just nice to know I think--Worth it to get a little piece of mind, right? You're suppose to take it on day 3 of your cycle and that's tomorrow for me. Just not sure if it's $25 for two tests worth it... Maybe I should save the cash, buy a new shirt, and eventually take my chances.

The Baby Bucket List

I never dedicated a post to this topic, and now that I'm mentally going back and forth on timing, and with pressure more than ever from my best friend--who first wanted me to wait to have a baby when she did... Then said I could go ahead and she'd catch-up on the second... Now knocked up herself and pressuring me to hurry up and do the same (love you girl)--I've decided to really think about what I want--And what I think is possible FOR ME to handle before and after a baby.

First, the would likes. These are things that aren't absolutely necessary, but I would like to have them done before I even get pregnant.
-Shape up: I really hope I can do this, I kind of feel like it's now or never. I'm trying to get into a habit of running with Snoop every day but it's really hard for me to get motivated!
-Take a dance class with my hubby: The reason I say before I'm pregnant is because I doubt I'll have time to do after we have a baby and I think I'll have a lot on my mind when I am, and less energy to talk him into it.
-Swim with dolphins: I'm not sure they allow pregnant women to do this so I'd like to do it either before, or way later when my kids can do it too.
-Take the GRE: I think if I don't do it now I won't do it for a long time, and I'd rather attempt to study cram now and possibly go to grad school cause I know I'll be more distracted once babies come along.
-Visit New York City: I could do this while I'm pregnant but I'd rather not be on the phat end of my pregnancy. I'm actually hoping to go this fall, so I can cross it off my list.
-Start grad school: I'm not sure how I'll do this as fast as I'd like but I'd love to get a Master's Degree just so I have more options later in life.

Some things that I would like to have done before I have a child, but I could complete them while I'm pregnant, or possibly even after having a baby.
-Feel comfortable in the kitchen: I'm there for the most part. I like cooking now, and I only hope to get better before and after pregnancy and kids.
-Have a 3-month food supply: I'm getting there as well. I have been busing water jugs and pasta every time I'm at the store, and I have a lot of MREs so hopefully we're almost there.
-Learn Yoga: I really want to do this because I hear it's helpful during pregnancy for stretching, and it's relaxing. I think it'll be a nice activity for a stressed mind.
-Visit Trinidad: My hubby lived there for a year on his mission, and apparently my ancestors are from that country. I'd love to take an exotic vacation there, but I also wouldn't mind bringing our kids along one day if we could afford it.

Some things that I would absolutely like to have done before having a child and possibly even before I get pregnant.
-Get REALLY good with God: I'm good with God. He and I, we have a good relationship. But I'd really like to have a plan down of visiting the temple more, reading my scriptures daily... All that good stuff.
-Eat better: I'm already starting to do this, but I'd really like to be in a habit of eating well so it's easy to continue while I'm pregnant. I worry if I can't do it now, I won't be able to later.
-Get my dental work done: Nothing too drastic, just figure out how many cavities I really have and get them filled before it's too late.

A few other things I'd like to have done ASAP just to make my life easier would be:
-Complete grad school: Like stated above
-Out of debt: We don't have student loans or credit card debt but I'd like to pay off our only "real debt"...our second car.
-Sell my condo: If I wait until this happens it'll be at least another year and a half. Luckily we have a wonderful renter to help with the mortgage but I'd feel even better if I DIDN'T OWN IT!
-Buy another house: I don't want to do it until our condo now is sold but I'd REALLY like to have a house of our own again before we have a kid, preferably my dream house, in a place we'd like to call home forever, because I hate moving.
-Have my own company (or lots of freelance work) on the side, or something to that effect that I could eventually solely do from home.

As I look at this overwhelming list I wonder how long it will take and when it'll be possible. I actually hoped next month at one point, then maybe December, but now, dwelling over this... Who knows!

I'm really discouraged and wondering how long I should wait. Maybe another 5 years wouldn't be so bad... Jeez. I wonder if I could suppress the urge that long. Some days the urge overpowers everything, but then there are days when I dwell on these things and it squashes my baby dreams for awhile. I know having (most of) these things first isn't more important than having a family but sometimes I wonder how specific the order needs to be. I'll be better off for sure if I complete some of these tasks first. I could focus more on my family when the time comes, and probably have less struggles and frustrations, but would my internal frustrations until then be stronger?

To make myself feel better I'm going to list what I feel like I've accomplished and blessings I've recieved in nearly 5 years that's prepared me for a child.
-Earned enough scholarships to pay for college and then some
-Graduated from college (with a 3.3 and I'm very proud of that)
-Bought and paid off my (crappy) car a year later
-Bought a another reliable, safe (possibly family) car that we hope to drive FOREVER!
-After 3 years finally convinced my husband we should get a dog (good practice)
-Bought a condo
-Got several jobs building up my career
-Have several months worth of savings
-Practiced babysitting lots of cute kiddos
-Gone on two cruises as a couple and several vacations (couple time important)
-Signed a contract at a news station in a city with warm weather
-Got TIVO (yes, this was actually on our baby bucket list)
-Signed up for premuim health insurance which is for the most part da bomb dot com!
-Began to like to cook
-Started collecting food storage
-Eating less french fries (hey, it's hard, it's my favorite food)
-Found a church ward we LOVE and started a calling I adore
-Searched pondered and prayed A LOT about expanding our family

Ok I'm depressed now. Were/are your baby bucket lists this long? How did you decided to proceed?

The Void

I've been trying to fill it for a few years--Ignore it. There's something missing--An emptyness inside that I can't wuite explain. I do have an idea of what it could be... But I'm worried it won't be my cure.

My core feels like a giant empty box that needs to be filled. I keep grabbing things... A degree, new job, a new home, a cute, happy and really really smart puppy... And stuffing them in my box. It begins to fill up, but quickly thereafter feels hallow again, almost as fast as it was filling up.

I can feel myself doing that again now. I'm trying to plan vacationss, goals, accomplishments. A trip to New York this fall, and a trip to some exotic island next year--Difficult to plan when there's a posibility of +1. My wants and needs are all jumbled up and I can't tell up from down.

There was a time, a month or so ago, when I just knew the time was "now"--Similar to the feeling I got when I knew I should marry my husband. It was comforting having that feeling, it brought with it strength to overshadow my intense fear of motherhood--Of leaving the world as I know it behind and welcoming a world that seems so hard to visualize.

I'm planning a another trip that's sure to help... A trip to a sanctuary, a place I haven't been in so long--Too long. A place I pray I'll get answers, and fill this void for awhile--A trip to the temple.

I'm not changing my mind this time, and I'm taking time off if need be. The schedules here are short, and there's limited times to go. But I'm not letting that stop me this time. The date-- No later than the 27th--Hopefully sooner. I will report.

The Crying Baby

It's such a simple sound that appears to strike up a different emotions in each woman in the chapel.

An anxious look crosses the face of a new mother--She rushes to hush her baby, afraid to disturb others, or over-frustrate her child.

There's the tenured mom, who keeps smiling as she listens to the speaker--As if she hears no other sound. Has she learned to tune it out?

Just an isle in front of me there's the expectant mother, pregnant with her first child. She smiles in awe at the piercing sound--The look on her face says she's listening to a beautiful song.

There's the married woman, not yet pregnant and not yet trying who forces a smile on her face, perhaps covering up slight annoyance as she watches the anxious mother leave the room with her wailing baby. She sits, watches and smiles--Probably thinking 'I'm so glad that's not me,' or wondering how soon she'll be on that end of the spectrum, and how she'll be different.

Then there's me, somewhat indifferent, studying the room of women and their response to the crying baby. I feel like I connect with each of the women on different levels. Compassion. Respect. Envy. Understanding.

One day I'll have experienced every vantage point. Witnessed the beauty from every angle. But for today, I'm enjoying the view from my window.

No matter you're style: crunchy, chewy, soggy, cloth/disposable, boob/bottle, Current Mommy/Future Mommy, you are an amazing woman and have great worth!

Happy Mother's Day!

The Way to Break the News

NO I'm not pregnant, I'm just getting prepared for that day which may come soon or one day far far from now I have no clue! Hey, that's what this blog is all about!

I know I threw out the topic before in this post of sharing baby makin' time (or TTC for some of you). It seemed like a lot of you didn't. I don't think I will either... It takes away the surprise you know? (But still... No, I'm not). But when the deed is done and you're with-spawn, when did you share the news?

I hear 3 months is the general guideline, just in case there's a loss. I can understand that, but at the same time that's 3 months excitement out the door!

I guess it depends how open I am to disclosing the ups and downs of my pregnancy. I know people who told everyone (announcing on Facebook) the moment they found out!! I think I'll be somewhere in between. I want to keep it secret for as long as I can so we'd have time to soak it in. Then leak the news to parents and best friends, then maybe once I begin to get phat (yes I spelled it that way on purpose) I'll tell people I work with. Oh, and I don't think I'll be able to help but leak the news here on my blog right away either--Well, after family is informed... It's my diary for goodness sakes, I can't help it if people read it! (If you work with me you'll be sworn to secrecy) Hmm, what would you do if you were me? And what did you do?

Ok and next important matter to discuss... HOW to tell. I've always thought it would be cute to think of a cute way to tell my husband and our parents but I know if I don't think of it WAY in advance I'll just blurt it out... Which is ok too but I think it would be fun to do something cute.

I'm not sure if he'll be the type to count down to the test date and want to know right away... I imagine he'll forget and I'll be the one alone with my count downs and tests, which is a better set up for a surprise. And what better way to share such exciting news than with a surprise?!

I've heard a few cute things like setting little shoes next to his shoes on the side of the bed. Leaving the test out for him to find. Michelle wrote a whole post with cute ideas!

I already know how I want to tell our parents! I'm not sure if they read my blog... Pretty sure they don't for the most part so I'll share ok?(and if you are reading don't peek!)-- I want to have a normal phone conversation with them, then when we're hanging up say "bye grandma" and hang up, and see how long it takes for them to call back. I dunno, it's an idea I heard of awhile ago and I thought it would be cute.

But other than that I have no idea where to start for ideas, and I'm kind of scared to even research any right now cause I may get too giddy and I don't need giddy right now... I need serious, level headed! So help me out! What did you do? Or what do you plan to do? What's the cutest idea you've heard?! Let's stock up!!

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And the winner of the Cloth Diaper Giveaway brought to you by DiaperKits.com is Lucky number Carrie of Make it Count! Woohoo! Get me your information!

I also have not one or two but THREE more giveaways coming up! So stay tuned!! And if you have something you're interested in sponsoring here for a giveaway email me at babymakingmachine@gmail.com

The Good Cause

When I first started noticing blogs I saw it as an interesting way to express oneself. Not necessarily to anyone in particular either. A lot of blogs I came across were for the purpose of self-expression, or a way to ventilate one's opinions on a particular topic or two that's crossed their mind.

I started this blog as a way to put down my feelings about taking on the next milestone in life. What was a journal and hobby has become a true joy an treasure. But what's better... I've met some of the most amazing people though blogging which I wouldn't have had the opportunity to come across otherwise.

I'm a journalist. And one of the things I pride myself in is doing stories that help and inspire people. Stories that move people to action. It's not me, but the people I meet and interview... The people in my stories that bring about the greater good in the world.

Just recently I've started to realize that same movement is visible... If not more so in the blogging realm. Never have I crossed paths with so many inspiration people trying to do good in such a short time span.

One example of this is with Danielle, the woman who re-designed my blog. She's offering her design services for free to a lucky donor who gives toward helping starving children in China.

You see... Due to limited resources, many government orphanages in China can’t afford to purchase formula powder. Instead, babies are given substitutes like sugar water or rice powder to ease their hunger pains. As many of you mothers know, these substitutes do not provide the nutrition a child needs, and the result is malnourishment, sickness, and underdevelopment.

I won't go into all of the details but I hope you'll consider going over here and donate what you can, no matter how small. One hundred percent of the money goes toward the New Day Foster Home's Formula Project! I'm going to give up one fast-food meal this week so I can chip in!... It'll be good for me, and these children. And hey... Your contribution could also get you a new free blog design!

Is it just me, or does like just seem so inspiring at times? I've always been a believer in the fact that people are good. And sometimes running into little things like this just go to show that! What other blogs/ people/ things inspire you? I love inspiration!!